I am tired of excuses. I feel as though I have heard a million of them lately. We need to stop accepting them and do right by our youth.
Excuses administrators give of the student who is the bully –
- Well, you know he has a tough home life.
- He has a lot of issues with learning.
- She is in a tough phase in her life right now.
- It isn’t as though he is physically hitting your child.
- She thinks this is the way to make friends.
- Many of the boys act that way.
- Most of the girls seem to love her, what is different with your child?
Those all convey the message it is o.k. for the bully to do what he/she wants.
Excuses administrators give of the student who is being bullied –
- Why doesn’t he stand up for himself?
- She is a little awkward with the other girls.
- He needs to work on his social skills.
- She shouldn’t care what other people think about her.
- Let’s help ________ to deal with this better.
- He will be stronger when he learns how to deal with this.
- She is nice and that makes her a target.
- He needs to learn to not let people take advantage of him.
To all of this I say STOP IT! By saying these things to parents who have a child who is being bullied the only message that is being sent is that it is the child who is being bullied who needs to change. All these excuses are ways to put up smoke screens and make the sand deeper so our heads can be buried. Because the kids being bullied have a target on them already, we have administrators who are taking aim as well. Maybe we need to start telling administrators –
- You need to start dealing with bullying because it will make you a stronger person if you learn how to deal with this.
- Why don’t you stand up for the kids who don’t have the courage right now?
- You shouldn’t care what the other parents think.
- Let’s send you to a workshop to help you deal with this better.
- By being lenient you are letting the bullies take advantage of you.
Maybe administrators need to start taking their own advice.
What excuses do you hear from your schools?